What’s life like as an erotica author?
By Sara Dobie Bauer
With the release of kINKED and my short story “Painted Red,” I add another story to my ever-growing list of erotic short fiction flying free in the world. I wasn’t always like this. I used to write pretty PG-13. Then, I got older and stopped caring so much about what people thought. I started writing what I wanted to write … and apparently, I wanted to write about sex.
It’s true: I don’t really care what people think of me. But they do think things about me. Because I write erotica, I must wear leather and whipped cream all the time, right? Well, no. Let’s have a chat, shall we?
Do people expect you to be super-sexed up? Slutty? Are you assumed to be more sexually open than you are?
Yes… However, I am pretty sexed up in reality, so it’s less an assumption and more a foregone conclusion. It’s true, though: people do assume I’m way more sexual than I really am. I think some of my readers believe I have a dungeon filled with floggers and chains. (I do not.) However, I am very comfortable with my sexuality and talk about it openly with my husband, so I have a very fulfilling sex life. I’m not only assumed to be sexually open; I am sexually open—just not in the way people’s imaginations might lead them to think.
Do people over share about their sex lives?
Yes. Always. However, so do I, so that’s partially my fault. People read my stories and want to talk about what they’ve read. I’m not one to judge (I’ll try anything twice), so I open the door for conversation and people tend to walk right through. It’s amazing how much you can learn and apply to your own sex life just by talking with friends.
Do people expect you to be transparent about YOUR sex life? Like, supply them with wild stories of your sexual escapades at cocktails?
I am transparent. Very much so. I love talking about sex, so I don’t mind sharing stories. Plus, I’m a writer; stories are kind of my gig. Sex is a human right, damn it. Everyone should be having it, and if you’re not having it, you should be talking about it and learning about the newest positions/toys/kinks so that you’re prepared to have tons of fun once you are having sex again.
Do you find yourself in the role of sex therapist?
Strangely, for men more than women. I have both married and single guy friends who want to know how they can get their wife to be wilder in the bedroom—as if I’m the expert because I write about crazy sex. Sometimes, my imagination just gets a bit out of control, but it’s easy to assume that what I write is based on fact—and some of it is. In “Painted Red,” my male lead has a tattoo fetish, as do I, so fiction does occasionally imitate life. (There’s another bit in “Painted Red” that’s autobiographical, too, but I’m not telling you what it is.)
What keeps you interested in writing erotica? What’s the draw for you?
I love writing about two characters falling in love and getting laid. I just do. Falling in love (and falling in lust) is a huge part of the human experience. It’s something we can all relate to, so I write to warm hearts, to entertain, but also to titillate. Why not? This world is so dark and destructive sometimes. Why not shine a sexy light?
About the author: Sara Dobie Bauer is a writer, model, and mental health advocate with a creative writing degree from Ohio University. Her short story, “Don’t Ball the Boss,” was nominated for the Pushcart Prize, inspired by her shameless crush on Benedict Cumberbatch. She lives with her hottie husband and two precious pups in Northeast Ohio, although she’d really like to live in a Tim Burton film. She is author of the paranormal rom-com Bite Somebody, among other ridiculously entertaining things. Learn more at http://SaraDobieBauer.com.