E is for an Explanation

Blogging from A to ZOriginally I planned to make E be about ‘Erotica vs. Porn’ but someone commented and asked what BDSM stood for and I thought “Oh. Bad, bad Cori. You should never assume people just know these things.” so I wanted to explain that instead (I’ll fit the erotica vs porn thing in later).

Firstly, what does BDSM stand for. Good question and, like most things, there is more than one answer 🙂 Most of the people I know say BDSM stands for bondage, domination, sadism and masochism but there are other answers too. Sometimes the d can stand for discipline, and the s and m bits can also be slave and master.

I was curious to see how Wikipedia defined BDSM and they said, in part:

BDSM has always been used as a catch-all phrase to include a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. With an ethos of “your kink is OK!”

I am mostly including their definition because of the last bit. Your kink is OK. As long as it is safe, sane and consensual*, your kink is okay. I’m not trying to be prescriptive here at Cori Vidae and I understand that everything is highly individualized, especially when it comes to what gets you hot.

*Or risk-aware consensual kink but I tend to find that SSC is an easier concept for people new to kink to grasp.

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9 Responses to E is for an Explanation

  1. kirstyes says:

    I didn’t realise there were variations on what the letters stood for, interesting.

    I’m sorry I have to ask about Fifty Shades, I’ve read the first one and wasn’t a fan – one reason was because I didn’t think the activities were particularly consensual at times. What were your thoughts – if you have any and aren’t bored of answering.

    • Cori says:

      I have a confession to make… I haven’t actually read Fifty Shades so I can’t really comment on it. I keep thinking that given what I write I ought to pick it up, but since most of the people whose opinions I trust have told me to give it a miss, it’s tough to talk myself into reading it.

  2. I used to know what it stood for, and believed it was something like that. I work in a field with lots of acronyms and just could get myself to figure it out. But I do like your alternative definition. Thanks.

  3. Angeline says:

    ‘Your kink is OK’; I love that!

    I recently dipped my two into the erotica writing genre, but it was a little bit different to the norm – it was for an anthology of zombie erotica!

    Is that kink ok? Haha!

    • Cori says:

      I think that kink is okay 🙂

      I wrote an erotic zombie story that was published a few years ago and so I actually spent some time thinking about zombies and consent (I kid you not lol). I figured if your zombie was the kind of creature that could think then consent would be the same as for a person. I did have issues, though, with the shambling mob type of zombie… unless that zombie was the aggressor, in which case the consent was implied by their actions.

      In the end the zombie in my story takes on mostly a voyeuristic role. It worked for what I was writing 🙂

  4. Lola says:

    I’ve often wondered if there was a specific definition, as I’ve heard several. I definitely agree with Wikipedia and the ethos of “Your kink is OK.” That makes BDSM a bit less intimidating. 🙂

  5. Lola says:

    Thanks for the explanation! I’ve often wondered if there was a specific, official definition. I’ve heard several. I do like the Wikipedia definition and the ethos of “Your kink is OK.” That makes BDSM seem a lot less intimidating. 🙂

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